Doorknob Monday 9/5/2011

Poor Sailor Knobbo had been wandering around lost in an unfamiliar town after a few days of excessive partying.

Then some kindly musicians gave him supplies to write home asking for help.

Help has arrived. Hooray! It’s Sailor Babo! And he brought a lantern!

Sailor Babo says the first order of business is finding food. He’s quite adamant about it.

And now that he thinks about it, Sailor Knobbo is awfully hungry.

Sailor Babo has a keen nose for food—especially cookies! It doesn’t take much scouting around before he locates a tin. Yay!

But bitter disappointment follows. There are no more cookies!

“What kind of idiot leaves an empty cookie tin sitting around instead of recycling it?” Sailor Babo demands.

Because it is a rhetorical question, no one answers it. Least of all the narrator of the story.

They set out again. This time it takes even longer to find a cookie container. And again it turns out to be empty!

Sailor Babo rigorously inspects the bag, but finds nothing besides crumbs.

“Somebody really needs to throw their cookie trash away more promptly!” Sailor Babo declares.

Again, the narrator offers no comment.

But then Sailor Knobbo thinks he smells something! He quickly follows his shiny metal nose. He sees a colorful box. Could this be it?

It is!

Sailor Knobbo has found cookies! Hooray!

Sailor Knobbo and Sailor Babo munch as many cookies as their little stomachs will hold. Life is good!

Now they have to get back to the main question: how do they get home?


Doorknob Monday 8/8/2011

Hurrah! Things are looking up for Sailor Knobbo!

His near-disastrous bender a few weeks ago left him stranded in an unfamiliar town without his cap.

Sailor Knobbo couldn’t even think where he might have been when he lost it. Things were all hazy!

But then, after asking at the local saloons, he found it in a lost and found box!

Sailor Knobbo felt like himself again.

He had also tried being a drummer. Even though he wasn’t cut out for it, the musicians were very nice about the whole thing.

In fact, when they saw Sailor Knobbo was still lost a while later, they gave him some paper, a pencil, an envelope, and even a stamp!

Finally, he could write home and ask for help!

The musicians said he could use their address. When Sailor Knobbo got a reply, they’d hold it for him.

And guess what? The reply from home just came!

Sailor Knobbo has mail! He’s excited!

If there’s one thing Sailor Knobbo is cut out for, it’s opening envelopes!

He has known this trick for years.

But hey, what is going on with this envelope?

Something seems to be moving around inside.

Sailor Knobbo is nervous!

He’d better hurry and get it open.

What on earth?

There’s somebody in there!

Oh, my!


Doorknob Monday 8/1/2011

Things are looking up! After some wandering around, Sailor Knobbo has found a jazz combo in need of a drummer. If he aces the audition, he’ll have a paying gig, and can save up enough to make his way home! He’s all set to break out his best grooves, only…

Come to think of it, Sailor Knobbo has never exactly been equipped to operate a drum kit.

Unless the combo hires him as some kind of weird percussion instrument, how is Sailor Knobbo going to get home?

Doorknob Monday 7/11/2011

URGH! It’s after 9:00 PM and Sailor Knobbo has just woken up—on the pavement! And he seems to have lost his hat. Clearly the annual July 7th reveling went awry. Horribly, horribly awry. Where is this, anyway? Does that sign say Paducah? He’s a little afraid to ask the police officer strolling by. Better to sit here unnoticed and collect his thoughts. Sailor Knobbo does not seem to have any money on him. It’s possible someone stole it, but much more likely that he spent it all on cherry Jell-O shots. Oh dear. This is going to be interesting.

Doorknob Monday 12/20/2010

At last! Sailor Knobbo has gingerly maneuvered the wreath into position. It’s nicely centered and looks great.

Now to tidy up that ribbon at the top. Sailor Knobbo should be able to get up there easily. Aaaaand…


Okay, the hell with the wreath. Sailor Knobbo is going to spend the rest of the evening with his pal, Frosty the Mysteriously Illuminated Snowman.

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” says Sailor Knobbo.