Doorknob Monday 10/8/2012

Doorknob Monday 10/8/2012

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11 thoughts on “Doorknob Monday 10/8/2012

      • Wow, he did? Jeez, maybe you lived in our house! (Okay, I know that would only be if your parents rented it, or bought it under an assumed name. I’ll have to did through public records and grill several suspects—er, witnesses—to find out. Detective Goren is on the case!!)

        They’re tearing the whole thing down and replacing it with a new version. I took the photo a little whilte ago, and I’m not certain if that area is still there.

        • I meant they’re tearing the school down, not our house. Unless it’s like the beginning of Hitchhiker’s Guide, where they’re unexpectedly tearing down the guy’s house, but it doesn’t matter because aliens blow up the earth. (That’s about as far as I got, except that I know to say “42” at appropriately random times.)

  1. So, that’s two votes for sunlight, and one vote for M—–l’s brother’s old elementary school! Sunlight is clearly in the lead, which means…means…okay it doesn’t mean anything.

  2. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

    • Ah, you have sensed my great mastery of the difficult and time-consuming craft of holding up an old smartphone and pushing a button on it! I spent years in the Himalayas perfecting this technique with the great master Steve “Biff” McCormleywatsonburgh. Despite numerous finger injuries and eye irritations along the way, I finally refined my abilities to the point where I had the honor of calling myself his apprentice.

      It is unfortunate that you think you would never understand a photograph of the inside of a school building. I assume, then, you have not been to school? Your parents have surely done an admirable job of educating you at home, for your English seems almost natural.

      I assume by “too complicated and extremely broad” you can only be referring to the wide angle, affording as it does a complete view of the space, rather than offering the viewer a close examination of the titular doorknob. Ah, but you see, that is part of my mastery! I have learned to “step backwards,” creating a remarkable “zoom” effect and showing the viewer “more stuff.” This is among the secrets taught to me by Biff. In fact, by merely hinting at its complexities, I fear I may already have said too much!

      If you are looking forward to my next post, you will find there is already one containing a rather blurry and pixelated, dare I say impressionistic, photograph of a noted performer. It was captured using the complicated technology of an altogether new smartphone, which required me to repair to the Himalayas again for further training by Biff. The subtleties of “pushing a button that is actually part of a touchscreen” took intensive study and a great many sleepless nights, not to mention certain unexpected and not altogether pleasant acts involving goats, and I regret that the results are not that of a true master such as Biff, who uses a far more sophisticated technique called “carrying a normal camera with a true zoom lens around with him.”

      I realize a photograph of a stage performance is even more difficult and mind-boggling than a decidedly static image of an institutional space, but I’m sure you will “get the hang of it” in just a few days! If indeed you are still having trouble, please contact me by post, by way of Schadenfreude-Upon-Estuary, and I will provide you with initial clues toward learning the whereabouts of to the secret bastion of Biff, the man who knows everything there is to know about holding a little box and pushing a button on it. Thank you for your kind remarks, and Godspeed, my friend—Godspeed!

  3. I like the sunlight too.

    I was bummed out when I found out they tore down the old Art-Nouveau school building where I used to go for art classes in the summer. Something about it not being earthquake-safe. But they replaced it with this building that resembles an anthill. I think they’re making a statement about education. :p

    • Art-Nouveau buildings should not be torn down. They should have put in some…uh…braces. Or struts. Or joists. Or buttresses. Or stanchions, or something. You know, some of that engineery/architecty stuff. To bolster it and whatnot. Against the seismic heebie-jeebies and tectonic donnybrooks and things.

      The depicted building was of a relatively nondescript 50s/60s institutional style that probably has a name I can’t place. Though not particularly breathtaking, it was kind of sad to lose it.

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