Holy crap! I missed my second Voxiversary!
By almost three months!
This can only mean I have been distracted because (choose one):
- my life has become a living hell the likes of which no one should have to suffer.
- my life has become a living hell the likes of which everyone should have to suffer!
- my life has become a living purgatory which a few people might have to suffer under certain circumstances.
- the earth stopped turning.
- the earth was turning with a hestitant grinding motion, which proved to be worn bearings.
- Vincent D'Onofrio showed up demanding money, or at least some coupons.
- I was buried under an avalanche of doorknobs.
- the Spanish fly didn't work.
- I realized after years of denial that Pikachu does not have Focus Fist.
- no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fit the bottle inside the toy ship.
- Tyra Banks is even higher maintenance than you might think.
- I learned the Pope is not only Jewish, but shows up at Rotary meetings wearing gigantic lapels and a cravat.
- the double pneumonia I contracted after being caught in the rain at that Reds game took months to clear up.
- Buddy Guy keeps calling me asking where he can get one of those cool Tripwire "got integrity?" T-shirts.
- I only went to Washington, D.C. to visit, but I ended up ensnared in partisan politics, bureaucratic stonewalling, and unrelenting harrassment from the shoe-leather lobby.
- using Twitter to post every aspect of my personal grooming requires a serious time commitment.
- buying a product called "Rolex Viagra Stocks Cialis Luxury" can be a very, very costly mistake.
So, thanks for your patience and understanding. To get things under control, I will probably need a flashlight, an analog wristwatch, an assortment of small loudspeakers, and a street map of Decatur (Illinois or Georgia, it doesn't really matter). I'll let you know.